I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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