I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
