its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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