Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
