My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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