So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
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I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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