I'm lost and stupid without you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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