he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
