there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize