She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
