Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
