He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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