Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
