Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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