I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it's not cheating when I paid for it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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