you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
