i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i've created a new STD.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
