Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize