the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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