Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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