dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize