So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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