shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I want a musical about memes.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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