My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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