fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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