I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
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The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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