This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
