i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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