If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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