WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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