New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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