Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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