I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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