now i know why i became what i already was.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
