i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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