fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
