There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
