Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
