I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
