I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
