Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
