The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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