u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you still have your period?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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