Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
farters have to be the big spoon...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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