First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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