Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
