i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
