I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
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I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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