All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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