we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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