sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
