it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
