The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I would fuck him just for his dog
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
