If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
