My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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