Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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