i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
