Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
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