I wish I could teleport
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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