If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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