Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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