he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
