can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
