dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
