Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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