you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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