your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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