Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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